But when do I start asking .. if ever? Is there a way to protect myself from more hurt?
And its great that he is showing an interest in the kids again ... truly wonderful. But I'm concerned for them as well .. is this transient? Is this a touch-and-go?
He became such a different person prior to, during and since bomb drop, can that person now be completely gone?
kml has given you good advice.
If I am reading this right BD was about 2 years ago. IMHO you might be getting towards the end of the beginning. However I do not really know, that is just a total off the cuff guess.based on TIME.
You might want to review the reconnection threads, which says that they will try to reconnect with things, then animals, kids and finally you. So maybe that is what you are seeing here.
If the OW is still in the picture then he is still in replay. That does not mean that he might not try to reconnect with the kids, or have a touch and go.
I would not ask him anything, let him continue to control the contact and you continue on with your life.
If he wants you then you will know.
I am sorry but I don't remember how old your kids are but I assume they are old enough to make their own judgements and relationships with their father. I would stay out of the way and let them do that.
Try to go back to detachement and do not pursue. While he is in crisis that will not work. And he is still in crisis, that much I am sure.
The links that I gave you last year have been updated so their are some extra ones that I have added. They are on some others threads, if you can not find them let me know and I can add then here. Try clicking on my name and hit show all posts and you should find some more recent ones.
