IMHO, there's no problem with you snooping. I feel that it's good to know what you're up against. It's not wise to go into a battle unprepared and not knowing all the info.
It all comes back to this. Do you want to save your M? There are some people whom not matter what you do, they will continue to look for that external magic pill to make themselves happy. It could be drugs or alcohol, or even other people. Regardless of what, staying in the M is your call.
You could always call her out on her behavior and say you're done. Or you could go down and file the papers today.
IMHO you should tell her that you're disappointed in her choices while you're married and that while you would rather her work on the M, it is time for you to move your life forward. Then cut communication. Don't let her know what your "moving forward" means. She'll act relieved and say that she's happy for you or whatever and maybe even increase her bad behavior. But it will come crashing down one day when she finds out it's not the situation that is damaged, but her.
Meanwhile, you do what you can to move your life forward. It's tough as hell, but you almost need to remember what it was like to be a single guy. Keep living your life and growing. If she starts reopening communication, then you can alter your plans after that, but until then, just LIVE.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
