I did not ask how to change MIL, I was asking what I could do about the situation. Nor was I judging her in a bad way. I was simply explaining our differences, we have VERY different world views. As for the christian part she says she is a christian,BUT how many true christians would tell their son to abandon their children, move a thousand miles from them, and pursue an affair? If that is christian, well I am afraid I might need to examine my faith!
I have addressed EVERY issue and fault my husband had against me. I am doing back flips to save my marriage. Everything he complained of was very superficial, and I have rectifyed everything. In fact he tells the pastor who counsels us that every time. The only thing I have ever done to my MIL is not agree with her view points and stand up for my beliefs. Like I said I also stopped pursuing a business because it was not feasable and she got mad at me. I was trying to start a home daycare but the market in the area was over saturated so I stopped taking the classes, etc. She saw it as me not sticking to anything. She booted us from the house because when we got it our income was higher. We were struggling to keep up with everything. Another family member offered to take the house over and she told us we needed to move. The other family member ran into the same problem and they had to move too. It was just a bad idea to mix family and business, especially in this bad economy. My H has defended me from his momther for years but he stopped when his affair started. Up until the affair everything was ok although our marriage was not great because we were not maintaining it. When the affair started that is when he suddenly stopped "loving" me. It was your text book "I am having a bad week with my spouse and so are you lets talk about it" emotional affairs.
I just don't know how to deal with MIL and her promoting the affair? There is probably nothing I can do. My husband will not tell her to back off and let us figure this out or defend me because he says he still does not know what he is going to do. He says I have made great changes that please him but he seems to have to hide that from his family and friends. She is the boss plain and simple and he is not going to rock the boat.
