Youngster's WAW Still Chooses OM!

[Finah]

It may be an issue of passive dependency......really doesn't matter at this point.

Just stay dark.....if she gets a hold of you.....reiterate over and over your stance.......do not waver on that one bit, do not let her bait you into any argument about finances, furniture, whatever......

If your in-laws can be any sort of help to you.....use them......anyone that could put pressure on the affair.....tell them. Close family and friends.

But not out of spite, be calm cool and collected.

I love my W very much and have made an invitation to her for us to seek family counseling and to work on our marriage, but she needs to end the relationship with the other man. While I now realize that I played a part in this I am taking steps to correct those mistakes and would like your help or support in saving our marriage.

Now its up to you whether you want to expose....Some people don't agree with it.

IMO, affairs are a different animal. You have to fight the affair and use a multitude of techniques.

I chose to and would again even though initially it drove her to OM. But it sent them both scattering like cockroaches trying to get their stories straight and still to this day my WW lies to OM.

Your WW is all ready living w/ OM so its not like you are going to drive her further from you and you are legally separated.

I guess what do you have to lose?

Either sit back and go zero contact until the affair dies out.

Or go pretty dark with a consistent message and fight the affair head on.

I will say this isn't for the faint of heart

You will receive a lot of flack from some people and support from others.

Pay no attention to the flack.......they don't have a clue about infidelity and use the support as best you can.


You can start small if you want.....by reaching out to your parents and hers.

Its up to you how nuclear you want to take this.

Try to focus your efforts on the OM......find out more about him......his friends.......coworkers......parents.....kids.....ex wife..a wife you may not know about...anybody.

Start mapping his support network, this could prove useful if you decide to expose it that far.

OM will be beyond mad, I assure you.......and w/ you out of the picture......he only has one person to fight with.......your WW.

The goal here is to cause conflict in their relationship to speed up its demise.

I'll add more later if you want......but again some people don't want to cause trouble, I did post this in another thread, I think it will give you something to think about.



it's from the poster Puppy Dog Tails

I've only seen one of two methods ever work with a wayward and/or a cheating spouse: either Allen A's consistent, boundary-laying, affair-exposing, throw-everything-you-got-at-'em approach... or, Robx's/Gucci's "You know what, I agree, maybe this is best as I'm tired of your crap behavior anyway/time to move on" approach. Or perhaps some combination of the two.