Trying not to hope is hard

[workinghardguy]

KML is right on. Let me give you some examples...

Things my W has said in both her "bomb speech" and subsequently...

- What she said: "I can't trust you and have never been able to trust you"
- What she does: She lets me control all the finances and despite being offered the passwords for the accounts she never access them. She will go away for a weekend and leave our S with me but also will leave the SS and SD with me.
- What I think she meant: That there is something inside of her that is not allowing her to form the trust bonds that she expects to exist. Furthermore, there are things I do that lead her to question my decision making. In our past I have been a pleaser and will do just about anything to make her happy. This leads to distrust because if she wants a new ipad, I'll get one. It may mean skipping a payment on something, but I'll figure that out. So she can't trust that I will put the needs of the family unit ahead of my own personal need for gratification that comes from pleasing her.