I have seen all sorts of destructive, out-of-touch reactions come out of her throughout our R. However, I am starting to wonder if this is really the way things should end. I could not imagine dealing with this kind of instability if we had kids involved in the matter...
Exactly. While it is very kind of you to see where this might be coming from - you DO have to think if this is really what you want going forward. My advice to a young person like you, without kids, is different than it would be if you'd been married for 15 years and had three kids.
I ignored some serious red flags (including an affair) early in my marriage. Although we went on to have many happy years and raise three great kids - the problem resurfaced when the kids were in their teens. I felt so bad at that time because I realized, it had been ONE thing for ME to take a risk on my husband - but I had made my innocent children take that SAME risk, and they paid the price in heartbreak.
Also, regardless of how hurt or damaged your W may be, the kind of VICIOUS MEANNESS she spews in that email is just NEVER EVER acceptable. Avoid the temptation to rescue her. She is unlikely to grow into the kind of stable supportive partner you want by your side in later years when life tests you by throwing curve balls your way.
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I'm not sure if I had full-blown OCD or not. My symptoms were rarely "external" compulsions, like washing or cleaning, but they did take up hours of time in the day and severely damaged my personal and professional life in various ways.
Sounds pretty OCD to me. One of my son's biggest manifestations is "stuck thinking" (although he did use to tap and count too). Once when he was a teen, he came home from school, to find his sister had eaten his Thai food leftovers that he'd been looking forward to. Of course he was pissed at her - normal teen behavior, right? But when he had to complain about it repeatedly - every day for a week - despite her apology - despite me buying him NEW Thai food - THAT was OCD. He just couldn't extinguish the thought.
