My wife has told me that she wants US to work, and is not going anywhere until we get through this. Her largest concern is that she will never get that "in love" feeling back (not the new relationship feeling, but the longer term intimate feeling). She does not know how to. She thinks that she is the type of person that once she has had enough, that's it- no going back. We both feel that she has repressed a large amount of resentments, as she says "it's was lots of little things, nothing big". These repressed resentments cloud her view of me. Even when recalling past times she does not see them as positively as she once did. We both hope that if she can find a way to release these resentments that she will be able to forgive me and move back to a place of love. I'm not a psychiatrist, so I don't know if this will be the case, but I hope it is. She has shared a couple of past resentments with me and I am surprised just how upset she becomes recalling them. She has stored away some REAL anger about stuff I never knew had upset her! Another thing we have both agreed on, and that she is working on, is expressing what she wants, and when she disagrees so that she does not build up additional resentments. This will be difficult for her, but she is really trying.
As far as the OM, she agrees that any contact is inappropriate. They have not spoken for over two weeks. When he does finally call (I asked she not reach out to him) she is going to tell him that she wants to work on her marriage, he should do the same, and they will have no more contact (that's the script my wife came up with). Unfortunately, work contact will continue (very limited though, he's just copied on emails -no direct contact) until the project ends the first week of November. I expressed concern yesterday that the work contact might cause confusion between us. She looked me in the eye and said "honey, don't worry, I'm not confused", then cried and hugged me hard.
W has been listening to relationship CDs on her drive to work (I have not asked her to do this), and comes home to tell me what interesting things she has learned. I think it's giving her understanding as to why I grumble when asked out of the blue to do something (although I ALWAYS do get it done ), and other things I do that she had taken personally before. In addition, I have been reading books too, and yes, I did buy DB !
I guess my biggest fear at this point is that my W is right- there is no way for her to fall back in love at this point- no matter HOW MUCH she wants to. Hard for me to understand since I still feel very much in love with her. Anyone here fallen back in love with a S? Or heard of it happening? Most stories I have read on here do not have a happy ending.
), and other things I do that she had taken personally before. In addition, I have been reading books too, and yes, I did buy DB ! 
