W is moving out.....life goes on...

[In_Shock]

thanks jb -- i have been backsliding more since she returned last week from the work trip. Even though i was doing well when she was gone, for some reason I've had a harder time detaching when she's been back. I think I'm so afraid the OW stuff is intensifying..... I know it will before it peters out but holy cow my mind is trying to kill me I keep trying the stop sign thing -- it seems when w and I have a moment of closeness - like last Sunday night when she talked openly to me about a lot of stuff.... it then goes downhill. I've noticed that on others' sitches also.

Yes, the changes ARE ultimately for me. Not tactics to get W back. That will be nice if it happens, but i really do want to grow and improve myself.

I know she can't trust the changes -- she even said again last night again that 'ideally' it would be me, her and S together. But the whole "I love you but not in the way i need to to sustain a relationship" that she said --- she told me that is because she just doesn't trust me. And she reiterated that there was nothing 'big' that caused our problems -- a lot of little things over a long time.

Let me break this up and give some specifics -- I'm working to process all this in my head and my heart. It's the hardest thing I've ever been through, and I've had some hard times in my past...