Just don't understand...

[workinghardguy]

Hey TJ, I can completely relate... it's the fear of not seeing my S (who's 5) every day that gets me in the gut. I love my W and she is my best friend. I would be very sad to go day to day without her in my life. But I've been there before, I survived, I moved on... but it's when I'm with my son that I freeze up. When my S crawled in bed this morning to snuggle with me it absolutely broker my heart.

I don't know you're exact situation but here is what has helped me deal with it...
- first, I've sat down and put on paper what I would want with visitation and placement. Seeing it on paper is hard, but also made me realize it's not as bad as it seems.
- Next I compared that scheduled to what my life is like now. Most weeks I'm gone at least two nights a week and at least one weekend a month doing stuff. Ok... so if my wife and I split time 50/50 then that's three days or so a week I may not see him. That's not all that different than it is now.
- I got very specific about placement issues. I know child care after school would be an issue and I already pick him up two days a week (my W does 2 days, and my mom does one). I wouldn't see that changing... so, there's more contact.
- I figure I could easily pick him up and take him school in the mornings. It's on my way, so why not?
- We live in a small town and I've vowed that I will stay here and within blocks of the house if at all possible. I don't want there to be a 30 minute commute getting in the way.

When I did all that it still absolutely sucked, but not as much as when I first thought about it. I'm still not sure how the whole SS and SD thing would work out... and I don't want to remove my S from his brother and sister, they all love each other so much.