Interesting thread. I've learned so much it's hard to put it into words sometimes. But helpful just the same.
I've read the thread and see a lot of things I've also read. But I do not regret the time I spent trying. I don't regret that I put that effort in. That's part of me.
At the same time, I get friends that ask me questions about me that I have a hard time answering. Hard may not be the right word. Embarrassing might be better. I am asked about my life and I look at the things that ex encouraged and discouraged in me. I look back and see the jealousy. Jealous about my time or successes. I see that and I think, "gee, that's not very loving". That leads to me thinking about the relationship I thought I had and what I really had. While I don't regret any of it, I do see that I want more. Better.
Was I asleep? I don't think so. I had different goals. Different dreams.
What I do know is that I don't want to go back to that. For any price..
Do I still love my ex? Yes. But in the same way? Not in the least. I think that's why the Greek language has more types of 'love' than the english language. There are different types.
I am not attracted to ex. I am not "in love" with ex. I wish her well and hope she does fine. I hope she finds the happiness and satisfaction she is looking for.
Did it have to be this way? No. Can it be better? Absolutely. Just not with ex. Ok.
I learned about boundaries. Setting and enforcing them more vigorously.
I learned that I am not willing to put up with that type of junk.
I learned that leaving the relationship was something we both had to do. I left just as much as she did. I just did it later than she did.
I learned that respect really is as important as I thought it was.
I learned that I lost me along the way. I learned to find me.
I learned that the time spent is not time wasted. I would do it all again. Easier knowing what I know now.
I learned that people sometimes need to run away. I learned I cannot understand that. I learned to accept both.
I learned that people are people. None of us are better than others.
I learned the limits of my patience. I have limits, but I've seen them now.
I learned that things are much sweeter after the bitterness.
I've learned that I prefer reality to my fantasies. All of the reality and not just the good.
I've learned that if I accept the good, implicitly I accept the bad.
I've learned that what I thought was good may not have been and I've learned that what I thought was bad may have been good. I learned to wait and see which is which.
I've learned perpective.
I've learned to love me again.
I've learned a lot.
AJ
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK Put the glass down... "Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
