W is moving out.....life goes on...

[25yearsmlc]

Val you are right. When we have fun with S, I know it's got to be making her wonder if OW really is worth it. At least I hope that's what she's thinking....

you need to have fun with s4 no matter what. Create good memories and bonding experiences...for their own sake...

But don't assume she's thinking "OMG I sure will miss this and I should stay" while she's in her fog. She may be thinking "OW will like s4 a lot".

Avoid the assumptions if they steer your actions b/c Who knows what's in your w's head? Try not to mind read.

What we KNOW is that the good times you create now, will resurface later in w's memories.

When?

When you get out of the way of those memories, and back off enough for her to see things more clearly. While you pursue her, and OR tell her the "ILY" and "Will always be here", you keep the fog there longer, imo. (Not saying you are telling her ILY but feel as if you have said too much too often...in general).
.
So what to do?

Do what you KNOW is best for him, then best for you, and nothing intentionally harmful to your w...and let the cards fall where they fall.

Do I think your w will wake up? Ever?

Yes. But probably not for awhile.

Inshock, when those changes we've spoken of really take place in you through and through, they will emanate from you. And that's attractive as hell - you at your best seeing the world through the eyes of woman who knows and loves herself and others, thoroughly.

If your w eventually sees that, and still chooses otherwise, you'll have to accept her poor choice (free will can be a bitch)

but still find contentment knowing you became the best you that is possible and
KNOWING that the best you possible, isn't a woman likely to be alone for long.

Your best chance at reconciliation comes from doing the same thing that

will make you a happy, fulfilled single woman. So your course of action remains the same.

For now, back off even wondering, and detach...literally try to care LESS....

Imagine your life without her BUT with you being happy and put details into that vision...

and begin to make some parts of that vision into reality now.

It prepares you for a happy single life AND ALSO prepares you for a reconciliation better b/c if she wants back in soon,

she'll have to know things can be different and you will have to be ready for that,

as for her changes? Hey, we'll cross that bridge when we get to it.

((( )))