Back home - but for how long?

[NYCPeter]

Well I think I handled today's interaction fairly well. At all times I was softly spoken and validated what she said.

I was in my office when she came home around 10:00am wearing her PJs. She came into the office and asked how I was, I said fine and asked how she was - she said better now she has had some Tylenol.

I asked her where she stayed, she mentioned the friend (divorcee), I said that in 12 years of M I had not stayed away from the house without her knowing in advance, I told her that I did not think it showed me respect when she did that.

W said she needed some space to think - I said I hope that she found it useful. She then told me she saw a L (totally unprompted by me) - to "see where I stand", I asked her what the L told her, and actually told her she would get less than my L told me.

I did get a little teary-eyed but held it in check pretty well (went for a smoke). I said that it was her choice, it's not what I want and that if she wanted to take that route I can't stop her. I told her she knows the outcome and that things will be difficult for all of us.

2x4 here - I also told her that I felt she could so so much more in life and that I am willing and able to support her by taking pressure off at home. She was far too smart to be waitressing 2 nights a week and if she wanted to train in a new career (she is a art history major) I would do whatever it takes to help. The fact we never see each other caused the breakdown in our relationship and I would like for us to work similar hours.

I also said that the next step was hers to take - if she truly wanted to stop trying as she said last week, I couldn't force her to.

I had to go and pick the girls up - she gave me a hug and said she had never heard some of these things before.

We have MC on Thurs - I plan on asking her if she wants to continue trying then she should join me, otherwise I will go on my own.

We later went for pizza and a street party with the girls and she left for work, saying "bye and I'll talk to you later".

I'm actually feeling good about myself - if she wants to file, I know I'll be ok, I know the girls will be ok and that I would have done everything I could to save the M.