PLEASE!!! Need help quick! Calling all vets!

[AntoniaB]

I agree with GAG that 25 years' post above is really helpful for many reasons.

Tad I've given you a ton of advice just as everyone here has, over and over.

Maybe what I need to tell you is my biggest REGRET. Know what it is? That I didn't wake up more quickly to putting more energy into my own recovery and making a life for myself instead of wasting all those days and months on worrying and questioning and pining over someone who hurt me more and did more damage to me than anyone on this earth ever will. Regardless of why he did that damage or what role I played in the marital problems, I would never in a million years have wasted all that energy on anyone but him, and that's a real tragedy.

It never got me anything to invest all that energy in wondering/worrying about him and his choices. All it did was make me weaker by the day. There is no payoff to being stuck, unless for some reason, you secretly love the pain or being a martyr and you feed off that.

Let's hope that's not the case for you.