1. I don't think holding onto hope has been holding me back. The sadness, loss and loneliness are holding me back. I am seeing an IC to work through a lot of this, but the grieving process for me is very slow. I'm taking small steps to move forward and am proud of those steps. But sometimes I wonder if I had moved forward more this last year I would have seen better results with the DB. So how do you move forward now? For what it's worth, DBing didn't really do a ton towards saving my m.. but it sure has done alot for ME. Can you take the blinders off and see that this is all isn't about your m? It's about YOU and how you want to live your life.
2. Option 3--not signing the papers--would just buy more time. But honestly, the chances of that helping are very slim. I think he is so focused on his path, more time wouldn't make a difference. I am just considering it as an option because I don't like feeling like I am giving up by signing the papers.
How about looking at it this way.. By signing the papers.. you aren't giving up on your m. You are just accepting what is real. I know that is soo hard to see.. but you have to. You need to in order to more forward.
Some m aren't over even though the papers are signed. This is not to give you false hope but don't let a piece of paper define you, your m. You did not fail your m, you did not give up. Start believing that.
3. Option 2--asking for most of our assets. I guess I am just thinking of myself and what I need to rebuild my life. He chose to start a new life without me. I am being forced to start a new life. (Please know I am not talking about large sums of money here. We both make very modest livings, live in a modest house and have a small savings for emergencies). I have lost a lot through this "journey" he has chosen to take and I just don't think it is fair to split everything in half.
Yes you have lost alot and it hurts like he!!... HOWEVER you are letting this feeling of hurt and rejection justify you're reasoning for ^^^^^^.
He hurt you, he ended your marriage.. I get it.. but at one point he cared about your life together. He invested time, money, emotions into it.
He deserves what he invested into. That is only fair.
Now if he is leaving you homeless.. that is something else. But I encourage to really see if you are asking for more because you are experiencing true "hardships" or if you are focusing on the emotions cause by the hardships. Does that make sense?
I'm not trying to bust your chops LWTG. I think you are still in a ton of pain. My heart goes out for you.. but only you can get yourself through this. We will help along the way as best we can.
((( )))
M(f): 40 D'ed: 8/12
Show empathy when there's pain. Show grace when warranted. Kindness in the midst of anger. Faith in the face of fear.
