Quote: Would we be at this "next level" if we hadn't had that argument? If I hadn't lost it and yelled "Divorce!"?
Sad to say, I doubt it.
Very interesting. I have thought about this as well. When I had an "emotional breakdown" a little stern in replying "I won't stand in your way of getting this expletive divorce if you want it so badly" that seemed to shake her up a bit and she has been a little more accepting of the thought of spending more time with me (I know this sounds like a teeny tiny baby step and is pathetic but I'll take what I can get now). This was in the context of a big R talk where we were both crying heavily before that statement. Statement came out when she kept on saying she wanted this D and no changing her mind and I was trying to validate and understand and she kept saying the same thing and we were at a stalemate.
Confusing thing for me and question for you is she complains I was not emotionally available and cold and distant, disrespectufl of her in front of friends, and to a lesser extent angry at times. So I can't figure out if this is more of the same behavior for me or is it she realized she was being unreasonable at the time when I reacted with my comment? I'm gathering this is how you feel it benefited you to move on?
I guess I won't be doing that often, but sometimes it does have to happen to break a stalemate?
Quote: I'm also chagrined to admit that today's "talk" was the first addressing of CJ's "issues" since that blow out.
Things have been going so well...it's almost scary to go there right now. Any thoughts on that, folks?
My sense from my WAW is that they are afraid to talk about it because of many reasons. I have been trying just to make her feel comfortable and safe by my RELAXED and COMFORTING vibe, body language, my tone of voice, etc. Real mild, but I think it might be working.
I would not expect my WAW to come out and talk about it until she feels much safer, mostly through actions she would see and percieve me doing. I think you did great with your comment, short, concise, and communicative, and allowed both of you to focus on the future. Not the pain of the past. GREAT JOB! Leave it at that, and live life, not just talk about it. Ironic, I think I like to talk and overanlyze our R more than WAW does, is this gender role reversal?
