What happens next part II?????

[Queen_of_Swords]

Abandonment = Rejection.
Rejection is the worst form of abuse to a child. Why? Because to be be rejected = abandonment and abandonment is death to baby/child. Your W has been living in survival mode since perhaps before she was even born.

That's why it's listed first. It can be felt kinesthetically and chemically by a 24 week old fetus in utero.
Especially, if the mother doesn't want the child, or is herself in an abusive relationship.

Your W has a lot of stuff she's never dealt with and has papered over. It is NOW coming back to bite her in the butt. At her core she doesn't know who she is, her intrinsic value, or even what she wants, she's unaware of the value system the structures her life upon or recognize the "lies" that she's based her life upon.

What she did to get approval and acceptance to survive as child no longer works as an adult, this causes her pain and confusion.

Rick she has to work this out and it has little to do with you. Unfortunately she, like my STBX, has to be WILLLING to do the work, face the pain and restructure their lives from the foundation up for HERSELF.

You can't make her, persuade her, or encourage her. You can't counsel her or cajole her.

Keep on DB'ing Rick. She'll eventually have to relate to you in a different way.