Well, if need be, why not try to get full custody yourself? This way they won't have to be up rooted from their home and school.
Just like you had to hit bottom for you to see the harm your actions (drinking, neglect) were causing her, she will have to hit bottom before she can begin to think clearly. she is acting like a child who throws herself on the ground, kicking her feet on the floor, wanting what she wants NOW!!! She has to go through it. I have seen it before many times here. The perfect life she thought she would find by leaving you has not materialized.
Right now, she hasn't made any moves towards moving them, has she? So, DC, relax and just continue what you were working on. Allowing her to see the changes in you is still the best way. there is nothing you can say to her right now to change her mind. Her telling you that you are trying to wear her down, being firm, etc, shows she is taking notice of you and how you are becoming stronger.
This will have to run its course. DC, really try not to panic. Things can be worked out to protect your children. When I first found out about my H, he told me he didn't care about anyone or their feelings, including our S, he only cared about doing something for him. Now, here we are, working on our M.
Just carry on, DC, enjoy time with your kids if you have them tonight.
