Sorry Shiny ... I don't mean to make the impression of prodding and then walked away. I could feel the hurt and raw emotion from your account of the evening, but I can't help but feel in the end it will help draw you two closer. Its been so long since I have said this (due to me forgetting about it myself and now you have helped me remember ... in one of my earlier threads...), but in order to advance from a seemingly stuck pattern, it needs to be started with an event that shakes / stirs things up a bit ... rock the boat. It does sound like you just went thru such an episode. The outcome can be quite powerful.

Hope you are still doing well? Have you been able to persue some of those follow-up talks in a quieter, calmer, gentler way? Is sounds like the both of you have been bottling up some resentment. One way that helps breakdown the build up is to mention frequently all the little things you catch him doing right. It may seem painfully obvious, so they are not worth mentioning, but taking the effort shows him you do care enough about him to recognize them. It also becomes a means to open up a venue to share more about how each is feeling about the other and even if they don't (as in the case of CAW), your mentioning of notice their actions does shift their demeanor towards where they act more comfortable being around you, which can lead to other positive feeling which they may be more apt to express in some form.

Shiny, you thru another teaser out there too, in that you would have like to handle it a bit differently. What would you have done differently? All I seem to be doing lately is creating smoke when pondering my sitch for I seem to be stuck for quite a while. ... so I'm quite interest in hearing about the effects of rocking the boat.

Always wishing you the best...

'til later,
KAW