Tad, let her go. try this Tad - next time she talks to you agree with everything, don't even try to argue. Tell her you have thought about it and you see the light. You want to be friends? Don't delay the D, give it to her.
She lies? Just pretend you believe her. Don't show you doubt her.
Try it, tad, even for a week. YOu are looking for different ways to approach this. I think at this point you have nothing to lose.
is easier and more effective for him to do, then:
Originally Posted By: AJM
I do agree that you don't argue. But I do not agree that you agree with everything. That's not focusing on you. Not arguing is there because you can't argue with the "logic" she has. It's her reality or at least she tries to make it so. There are times when things are distorted and I see no reason to lie about it with them. To be complicit in the lies is not being true to you. Not arguing is not the same as agreeing. Validating that she feels that way and that you understand she feels that way (at the moment) is a good approach IMHO.
Tad is still thrown for a loop everytime he interacts with her, so a simple "agree with everything she says" repeated over and over in his head will probably help him detach quicker than him trying to ananlyze what his needs areon the fly . Down the road yes, but now ......
There's actually another website that my C recommended where this is the central strategy in "Stopping Your Divorce". Another take on dropping the rope.
You might be surprised what happens when you give them what they want.
Everybody hurts. It's part of life. Don't miss the good stuff.
