Tad, I see what Angel is saying. I don't agree with all of it. I do agree that an MLCr wants to run away. Desparately. I think it is confusing to them. If you have been close, it will be confusing to you as well and you'll feel it. All of it. The anger, the manic, the depression, etc.
What you're doing here is detaching. Untangling. It won't happen overnight, but you do need to take the steps.
I do agree that you don't argue. But I do not agree that you agree with everything. That's not focusing on you. Not arguing is there because you can't argue with the "logic" she has. It's her reality or at least she tries to make it so. There are times when things are distorted and I see no reason to lie about it with them. To be complicit in the lies is not being true to you. Not arguing is not the same as agreeing. Validating that she feels that way and that you understand she feels that way (at the moment) is a good approach IMHO.
Agreeing with them is not the right answer in my opinion.
You do have nothing to lose by changing things in your own life. But change them so they are about you. What you want. Explore those things Tad.
She'll do what she wants regardless and you know that by now.
FWIW, mine has said the exact same words. She wants to be friends and then takes steps to push me away. It happened so much I got confused for a long time until I realized she wanted to push me away while holding on. I eventually saw the pattern and refused to be part of it any longer for ME. I saw how she used me to fuel her anger and changed that to not allow myself to be part of that.
Lies? Or lack of tools to express herself? Or ?
Doesn't matter because it isn't treating you with respect nor as a person with their own feelings. Demand and get the respect you deserve. At any cost Tad.
Look at the reality of the situation. You cannot fix her. She left. She is trying to run far away. You don't know why. But she has left. She treats you poorly. She "lies" and you allow her to make you suffer.
Know when to fold 'em Tad. The battle is not the same as the war...
AJ
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK Put the glass down... "Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
