What happens next part II?????

[25yearsmlc]

golden post by sandi....READ IT AGAIN!!! Please...it's valuable.

So "passive' to ME, means either passive agressive or lazy or cowardly

and abdicating responsibility onto another, or dumping all the messy stuff to another,

so HE the passive one, can be the good guy!

or the guy who never actualy decides--so he's never technically wrong! (in fairness, he's never technically right either, but you can bet he'll want to look that way).

[b]
Please Rick, banish the sentence "I told you so" from your language.

It's harmful, self righteous, teaches NOTHING but gloating....and it erodes love and forgiveness.
[/b]

After I read my h's contract to go to Alaska, I point out maybe 6 or 7 things wrong with it, 3 of which would be deal breakers to any other client of mine. I said it was a ponzi scheme and that it probably wasn't even legal.

H said I was being "negative" and "a wet blanket"....he signed it.

3 years pass and every single objection I had has risen up to bite us hard. It has cost us a fortune PLUS lost years...

I have never once said "I told you so", or ANYTHING like that and it was not easy.

But it was my goal.

I saw the pain and anger in hs' eyes and his shame. No way would I add to it "just to make sure he learned a lesson" (= I was right!!)

That's purely selfish ego/need to be vindicated or right on my end, and 10 other bad ideas in a marriage.

Please rick, learn from that one. It's a biggie, and it would be a huge 180 for you to man up in that area.

No more waiting for your w to decide things and then privately "hoping" your d is alright.

If your d were drowning in a lake while your w was "supposed" to be watching her

but your w got distracted -- would you stand by and watch your d drown

b/c your w didn't tell YOU to save the d? Would you watch her drown and say "I told YOU to watch her but YOU didn't!"

Of course not Rick.

So when you fear your d is losing it, go get her help!

Don't delegate or outline various job duties to each party or just dally about...be her dad!

and don't use ANYONE else as an excuse or obstacle to you helping your baby girl yourself.

Carry on Rick and good luck

((( )))