Treading water - time and patience

[NYCPeter]

Thanks for the replies - from a financial perspective she'll think I'm putting pressure on. A 180 for me has been to not complain about what she spends money on unless it is drastic.

She has no sense of how to "cut back" - those following my sitch for a while will know one of our issues was $36k of credit card debt I knew nothing about. In retrospect I should have known she was spending more than we were making - but I never realized how much. Now we have a situation where if funds are low I transfer a few 100 from my personal account.

With alimony and child support she'll get around 66% of my salary - along with the help her parents will give her, I think she would be able to live comfortably on that. I'm the one who would struggle with the 33%.