1. H wants to move us back home where there are more resources for all of us. He is planning to go at the end of this month to look for jobs and an apt and is staying w/ his sister.
2. H doesnt want me to have expectations that the move will make all our problems better...which i already know it wouldnt but i have hope it can improve some things for all of us
3. H is worried about moving...sometimes cranky, but not wishy washy about it. I'm hoping that he wont change his mind as this move will provide so many more possibilities to gal.
4. H tells me he still wants to be alone, wants freedom but is afraid to lose me. Still wants to go forward in mc.
5. I'm trying to stop obsessing about ow...even though she is out of the picture. Dealing with feelings of sadness and anger about what he did.
6. Trying to detach fro h's moods...has been difficult.
7. Realizing that i am still pursuing and afraid if i totally stopped it will widen the gulf already between us.
I just want to go home...and i pray we make it there because opportunities for me will open up greatly compared to here. I need to make a fresh start regardless.
