In Shock - just dropping by to offer my support. Looks like your W is following the script to a "t". As 25 rightly pointed out, in some ways this makes things easier for you. Just keep being the better option right now and stay true to yourself - make the changes you know are necessary in your R but remain honest to the core principles that make you "you" ...the ones that uniquely define you.
In my case, my H has "downgraded" to his small-town, provincial high school girlfriend. What a "breath of fresh air", I guess, from me - the mother of his children who has worked for national news outlets, started a national nonprofit organization after our daughter was sick that now serves families all over the country, and has battled and beaten breast cancer twice before the age of 40 (and all while raising two little kids). I'm thinking he must find her simple nature appealing right now, but even my DB coach recently said H may THINK he wants simple now, because simple represents uncomplicated, but he probably won't be satisfied with "simple" in the long run. I'm not a vain or overconfident person, but I know my H and I know what he likes -- what he likes to talk about, what is important to him, his intelligence level -- and I know, just KNOW, that I am the better option. So I am working on me, making the changes I know need to be made to improve our R, and letting him figure out the OW "downgrade" truth himself.
