Another crisis.....but H opening up now

[angel61]

Thanks MZ for dropping by! Am always glad for the support. This site has indeed been such a lifesaver.

Its so nice when we could share both our ups and downs and have people cheering for us when we are up and sympathizing when we are down, but most important is the knowledge that someone has walked the path before you and has been successful in some way.

I notice a change in me lately after hearing H's words that he is staying and somehow working on the M and our friendship, and seeing his confirmatory actions (confiding to his bro) and hearing the good news from my friend.

I have been more confident and no longer feeling like I am walking on eggs. I also know that my changes are more deeply ingrained so I no longer feel that I need to pretend.

I do have to remind myself that I have to keep my mouth zipped as much as I could, even if I hunger so much for more connection between H and myself.

I really do feel though like we have turned a major corner.

What I would like to share though, and I hope i don't offend anyone out there, is that all of these changes couldn't have been brought about had I not also been changed spiritually. I now have a much closer relationship to God, but only when I started understanding how I should give my marriage and relationship to Him did everything fall into place. And I see now how DB'ing falls in with this all.

DB'ing says work on yourself and yourself alone. And slowly, working on myself, making myself a better person led to me seeking spiritual guidance to find out what is good. What better guidance than to seek what God wants us to be in the first place? Everything I learned from reading the Bible, devotionals, friends who are more maure than me spiritually all pointed out the same path: Love unconditionally, forgive thus losing the anger and resentment, and be thnkful for the blessings that you have. And all of that leads to a better person: peaceful, not controlling, learning trust, letting go....