Is it possible no DB tool can save my marriage?

[angel61]

Treading water is a good way to describe it. I have been in this for more than a year now, and I am slowly seeing the effect of hanging in there.

My H has now opened up to me, saying that he does feel now that his "in love" feeling with OW is waning, that I was right in the first place that it does not really last. I did feel so hopeless back then, but decided to make a stand for my M.

I have been working on myself in the meantime, and although the time was painful, with a lot of backsliding and recovering, I would say that I have really and truly started to change inside. Having H at home and knowing that he was talking to OW on the phone was so hard that many times I had to stop myself from walking away, especially since we have a D12 and I had to think of her as well.

I would say that even if we are more like roomates sharing a bed, our situation is now a lot better. H has also had time to evaluate what he must do and has decided that he will stay in the M, that he is not ready to throw away everything, although he still is very negative about whether we can make it work. He still is in contact with OW although he has said that he will end it, HIS way.

So COG, sometimes it may seem like DB isn't working, but remember, the opposite of DB (Pursuing, begging, getting angry) will surely drive the other person out the door faster than you can say whoa.

At least, DBing buys you time. For sure, it will make you a better person. At most, it will save your M.

Good luck!