True, if all you're only weighing the sexual issue. But I really have no regrets overall because of my kids and the other things I still have with my wife. Shared custody, occasional visits, not living with my kids, was unthinkable at the time, and I'm glad I didn't divorce. That plays a huge part for me.
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Before presenting *any* ultimatums, you'll need to start all over again with the 'phase 1' and 'phase 2' efforts that I've outlined before. In particular, 'phase 2': re-learning to love and meet the needs (emotional and otherwise) of your spouse, and most importantly for you, rebuilding *trust* again.
Yeah, we might be dead of old age by the time we achieve all that. Like you said, it's hard work.
