Treading water - time and patience

[Accuray]

NYCPeter,

I spend quite a bit of time thinking about your sitch, it's very frustrating and I can't imagine what you're going through. I have been reading "Love Must Be Tough" by Dobson, and think it may be worth a read in your situation.

To your point about perception, it talks about the fact that your W's perception of you has changed over a long period of time, so the behaviors and the words are just symptoms of her perception. If you deal at the level of the behaviors and words, you're chasing your tail.

You seem to have tried many ways to approach this situation with varying degrees of success, I believe that this book will give you one more approach to try. It gives you a prescription for becoming less of an open book to your spouse, and why that is such a good and effective thing.

In the words of DB -- if what you're doing isn't working, do something different!

I wish I had read this when I was in the thick of things, but it's good to read it now.

--Accuray