GAG - Snodderly posted to me to respond to xh like an old friend, and that is what I try to do.
Old friends know that you do not always respond the minute they email, but sometimes you do, that you don't play games, and that you are fond of them, but not overly emotionally invested in their lives and choices. If that makes sense.
So I try and respond to my xh like this. If he does something mean, which he still does occasionally, I ignore it totally, and leave a little time before I get back to him on anything.
I try and keep my expectations to zero, and after a time the trying has become a reality. I know him pretty well, and he is more like his old self. Quite honestly I am not sure if I want anything more than this. I have closure. 80%+ from myself and my actions, and 10% from him being more human. It has helped to have the exchanges, but only at this stage, not when he was mean and angry and spewing.
I have been set free in some manner, [my own actions, passage of time, grace of God] to live my life fully again, and that is wonderful.
