Personally, I think your mom might be more "work" than your dad... but that's not funny and likely not true...
My dad has been sober now, we think it's about 5 years... he still has anger outbursts... he keeps it in too long and it's very focused... let me be clear here, though...
both my mom and my dad, as well as myself... have a LOT of personal development under our belts... they know this stuff, but it's always a choice, and tough, to do the work...
That being said, the tools learned in the PD can be turned and used as weapons, so it doesn't necessarily make it any easier... I'm just saying... I have a number of triggers that I now I can use (when I remember them)...
I ONLY do the work in times of stress and duress when I know I am strong enough... this is not an intervention. I'm not saying interventions don't work, but understand... like DBing a spouse... you can lead a horse to water, but...
I've found that it's hard to work with the both of them at the same time, when they're escalated, but I can usually divert my dad... he knows and trusts my abilities...
I struggle with depression as well, but never diagnosed nor treated... I have found tools and skills within myself to deal... not sure it's a good idea, but the skills have served me well in some cases as I believe they've allowed me to be more empathetic and sensitive to the approach and onset of crisis... in myself and in others...
Your sister is on board with you? Is there just the two of you, or more siblings? I have a sister and she's done the psych schooling as part of her profession, although she's not a therapist... she's "onboard", but she's pretty much given up and left it to god... fair enough... but when it comes to it and she's brought into the drama, she knows how to act... and I know her game, so I can trust her to work with me, albeit passively...
I think your sister is doing the right thing not jumping on the bandwagon with the laptop and now the router... but...
I have to say... Understand that it could get ugly... your dad will play your mom and then your sister could be the target of both of them...
You'll have to diffuse your mom's... I'd suspect "unwarranted"... concern over you... aside from co-D and probably an enabler, she sounds a bit smothering and... would I be wrong in saying... overbearing...?
