Bagheera, thank you very much for the time you've spent on my threads and your excellent recall! Heaven knows it's a lot of childish ranting of a sexually inexperienced and frustrated person. Yes, you're right, my comments from 2 years ago are amazingly similar! Hey, at least I'm consistent! And I'm not trying to reword things just to create a false impression of progress.
Yes, I have been "stuck" in the same situation for several years now, though I prefer to look at it as patience and honoring my wife's request to "back off the pressure" to fix things and give her some peace for a while. In the first years of my SSM, I responded in a very action-oriented way and arranged for therapy, tried to have discussions, went on vacations where I was romantic, ... all the recommended things. It gave me a false (in retrospect) feeling of making progress, but at least I can say I tried those things.
We met when she was in her late teens, and I was in my early twenties, and married a few years later. I'm now in my late 50's. And no, neither of us were previously married (we were in college and grad school when dating). Previous sexual experiences to my wife? None at all. And none for her.
Not sure where you got the "14" number for years of marriage. At this point, that's just the number of years it's been SSM.
Actually, many of the stats at the bottom of your post are remarkably similar to mine, especially if you add about 8 to all the numbers in the first two lines. Which might suggest we have faced some of the same issues and tradeoffs.
Though I'd like to go out and do all these crazy sexual things and enjoy myself, I can't help but "succumb" to my daughter's request to help her with calculus or chemistry, for example. She's acing everything and I'm so proud of her. Or when she wants me to go with her to a scary movie that mom doesn't want to see. So my time gets eaten up with work, family, hobbies, and chores, and it has kept me off the streets!
