know sure what to make of this

[In_Shock]

You can find my situation here and here.

The wife came by the other night and unloaded on me. Everything is my fault, I pushed her away....the same old story. I've never seen her display so much anger, hate and resentment.

So many of us say this -- WAS have a script we've heard. This is so typical. Don't take it personally.

I have completely let her go. Something that I have been struggling with for awhile now. I really don't know who she is anymore. She's a stranger. It's almost as if she's possessed . What I do know is that I don't like this new person. What I don't know is if I even want her back. The stuff she is accusing me of is absurd. All her cronies are telling her how bad I treated her, but the thing is, not one of them know me. I am beginning to have my doubts that my wife will eventually come around. I think she really believes everything she said. She truly is done.

My W also. She is a stranger. She seems like a totally possessed person..... an alien as some would say. The cronies...always helpful...NOT!!! Most WAS have those too validating their every whim. Nonsense.

So here I am. Not sure what step to make next. I'm not even sure it matters at this point. I know this is typical WAS behavior on her part. Part of me thinks that she will come into reality, another part doesn't think that she will.

I was talking to a friend the other day and he told me that perception is reality. She perceives me as the problem, the a-hole, whatever. She also perceives me as reliable, the person that will always be there and a safety net. I'm really sick of all of this stuff. I'm getting to the point that I don't care what she does anymore. I quit. I will continue to work on myself, but I have no desire to work anything out with her anymore. It's not going to happen...at least not for a very long time. So why should I stress? Deep down inside I would like to get back together, but that part of me is slowly disappearing. I basically told her if it's not about the kids or about us working things out then to leave me alone. Of course I spoke to my DB coach about this first. If I am indeed her safety net then maybe she'll realize what's gone...maybe she won't. It doesn't matter anymore I guess.

I'm done with all of this. I have too much work to do on myself. I'm not even ready to get into a relationship with her. Time will tell, but I'm not holding my breath. I have decided that I will honor my vows until the divorce is final (which, btw, she doesn't have the money to pursue), even though she has already been with other people.


IF you really mean this, it's healthy for you. Do the work on yourself. The R is on the back burner. Yes, honor your vows. That is YOUR moral code. Don't sell out b/c she has.


I guess that it. Has anyone else felt like this?

In a word --- YES> We go back and forth and back and forth. That's why it's a ROLLERCOASTER. Keep posting. We are here for you. Take care!!!!!!