Thanks for your wonderful advice and for the book suggestion. I will certainly check it out as well as Passionate Marriage, which I've noticed several DB'ers have mentioned on their threads.
Oh...nutbar with the shopping cart....bless her heart. Yep, pretty sure she's out of the picture, as the last time I brought her up, H said the great line from As Good as It Gets...."go sell crazy somewhere else; we are all stocked up here." Truth is, she really is a nut, and a MEAN one at that. And I cannot believe the similarities between your H's ow and my H's ow...while she wasn't going through cancer treatments during their affair, she had battled cancer recently. That's just bananas, isn't it???
My short-term goal at this point is for H to feel comfortable sharing his wants/needs with me (and yes, I think it will be done by email, as he is most comfortable communicating about the tough stuff electronically) and for us to get to an agreement on how we can end the cycle of H pulling back/me panicking and losing my $h!t and therefore driving him farther away. You are right; we can only hold ourselves accountable to stick to our plan, but I'm hoping if we brainstorm on this together, we can come up with some good ideas on how to to do this.
Keep hanging in there, E. I got your back and am in your corner! xo, lc4
Yep, pretty sure she's out of the picture, as the last time I brought her up, H said the great line from As Good as It Gets...."go sell crazy somewhere else; we are all stocked up here." Truth is, she really is a nut, and a MEAN one 
at that. And I cannot believe the similarities between your H's 
