So, my deal-breaker is that we come up with a way for him to communicate openly and honestly with me when something is wrong instead of pulling back and shutting down. I've committed to continue with my change of not losing my $h!t and getting panicky. Any suggestions for how we can do this and hold each other accountable are greatly appreciated.
That's a tough one because I don't think you can hold anyone accountable to communicating their needs, aside from yourself. Although, you could try to create a safer environment for sharing and then if he wasn't scared of you losing your sh!t, he might be more open. "You can't change them but you can change yourself" kind of thing. (We have more in common than you think because I'm not always patient and calm. I have lost my sh!t many times during my M but I am working on it too!)
Originally Posted By: lc4
I've asked H to share his deal-breaker(s) with me. He is a little nervous about this, saying he's "afraid it will make him look like an @-ho!e." I think in honesty, he's just afraid I'm going to revert to my old ways and fly off the handle. Hopefully, he will see little by little I'm past that and he will feel free to share with me.
Back to my original suggestion of the LIST. This time, I'm serious. Maybe he'd be more comfortable e-mailing you his dealbreakers? That way, if you're angry, you can lose it when he's not around and when you see him, you'll be all calm and sweet.
Originally Posted By: lc4
I have made it clear to H that ow is to be out of the picture in all ways permanently. I am pretty confident that this is the case, but I still had to put it out there with him. Now, I'm letting that GO, once and for all.
You mean that sunglasses wearing, angry, "I'm gonna take you out with a shopping cart" nutbar might still be in the picture? And he's worried about you losing it?
Anyway, all kidding aside, you're doing great, lc. ((()))
And he's worried about you losing it? 
