First of all, don't second guess your decision to go over to W's apartment when she texted. You were given the opportunity see your D, so jump on those opportunities every chance you get. I think that was a super-good decision. I'm glad, also, that you got to see that your D is doing just fine and not fixated on the fact that you called her mother a B. I'm telling you, IMO your daughter had moved on from that by the time you got to dinner with friends.
As for your W...was she bored, lonely, testing you, etc....honestly, it could be all of those things. Her actions/words make her a tough read right now, and truth be told, she probably doesn't even know what she wants. This is why it's so important for you to remain a total rock. Keep up the GAL and working on maintaining a PMA as well as detaching (the toughest one of all).
Keep your W at an arm's length, and let her come around (as I know she will) in her time. Take things one day at a time as long as you are willing to.
Are the divorce proceedings on hold, or have the two of you been in contact with your lawyers and moving the process along again? Just curious....
Take care, keep up the good work, and keep seeing your daughter every chance you get. That is one thing you will NEVER regret.
