I'm with you, Finah. I was driving home, and I suddenly began getting really angry when I realized the truth of the situation: she left me for another man, yet she basically schooled me last night about how she still has rights over me. Puh-leeze! She's the one who left. She should know that she no longer has a hold on me. Nor should she have one.
For the last hour, I also analyzed the conversation and found multiple things that really demonstrate that she's still not participating in reality. One biggie that I suddenly remembered is the matter of our money. When we got ready to move, we had $5K saved up in the bank from her job at the factory. After the big separation was announced, we were planning to split that money 50-50. Then she changed that to her getting $4k and me just getting $1K. I did not protest that because at the time, I thought that she was going to live by herself, and her pay is much lower than mine. (After I found out that OM was going to live with her, I should have demanded more money, but I just wasn't in a place to deal with it then.)
Last night, she flipped it around, making it sound as though all of that $5K was hers and that she graciously gave me $1K even though she didn't have to. Let me just say this....she seems to forget whose paychecks were paying ALL of our bills while she was amassing this money in savings. Yet another crazy WAW, folks...
Not gonna lie, I felt really crappy all day. I felt for weeks before this that I was getting detached from her, but this last conversation and my subsequent emotional reaction suggests that I'm far from where I need to be. Need to work more on that, it seems. It's just that I try thinking about living my life with someone else, and I just can't. I really committed to her for life, you know? I thought I found my one.
On an interesting note, I found today that my W had unfriended me from FB. She also took off her R status, which used to say "Separated". Not too upset about that. I'm actually relieved. The more space she gives me, the better.
I'm still pondering the LR letter. At this point, I think it would just be better if I didn't answer my phone or texts. My absence will speak for me better than my words ever can. And I'm also beginning to accept the fact that no matter what I say or how I try to reason with her, she will always make me out to be the bad guy no matter what.
