But also as someone noted in another thread perception is reality to the spouse. So from their end, they were telling you. That's why I think a lot of times, they feel they have nothing to own up to. I don't know how you get around that unless the spouse just suddenly has a revelation or it comes out in IC or MC.
So if a LBS would ever say to their spouse...if you only told me, they'd probably get an earful.
But ultimately, it doesn't matter how you got here. You are here and you can only work on making yourself a better person .
Pete...I think the "active listening" isn't really helping you that much. I think you need to examine the whole communication paradigm...not just the words you say. Everything goes into it. Think about how you effectivly communicate with people outside of your M. I'm sure you do.
Also, I think either your or your MC is letting your wife off the hook with the "I don't know." thing.
People aren't 100% one way or the other. She wants less stress. Ask her if X makes her less stressful, if she says yes - what is it about it that makes it less stressful. What about Y? Your challenge to hear those answers and fit them in within the confines of your needs.
Patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet. --Jean Jacques Rousseau.
