hmmmm... ok... so it sounds a bit like an itch your W can't scratch...
IOW, it certainly makes sense in its own way, that your W is unable to give you a solution / answer for what else might alleviate her stress... because... if she knew that... she'd give you an answer... it is very likely that the only solution she can think of is that you move out / stay out... and while it can't be ruled out completely, let's... for a moment... believe her that it is not because of some OM...
Maybe others here can chime in and help offer some possible solutions of how living together, separated, worked for them to give each other the space they needed...
But without a doubt, I'm sure that it will require you to have very strong boundary control... both of your own... and of your W's...
So, we are trying to find a solution that is not a "fixer" / nor an "enabler" solution...
Has your W ever told you she doesn't trust you?
If not, have you ever asked her if she trusts you?
You might offer that, if she really does trust you, then ask her to trust that you will respect her boundaries and need for space... that if she is having anxieties (momentary, not day long or week long) and feelings of being trapped (by your presence) that she use a code word you both agree on, and you will acknowledge the cue and make yourself scarce for an hour or two...
