Treading water - time and patience

[NYCPeter]

I did ask if there was another way I can make her feel less stressful, she couldn't come up with anything (almost an all or nothing approach).

Has she been listening to my needs - well yes to a degree. During MC one of the things the C suggested was being more tactile to get closer.
For a while my wife was giving me more hugs, kisses etc. She slowed down and only did so when she felt guilty (came home late), when I asked why - she said "it no longer felt natural for her to do that and she was forcing herself".

I'm struggling to think what alternative solution we can come up with in either scenario.
I give her more space, I don't dictate what she does just offer suggestions that she may want to join in. More often than not she does.

If my needs are tactile and more physical - the fact it doesn't feel natural to her precludes me from trying to be more physical with her, otherwise I would be forcing her to do something she doesn't want to do.