Treading water - time and patience

[NYCPeter]

KD - I do get it, what I meant was communication in the past.
One of the techniques the MC has been preaching to us is to repeat, express the understanding and have the person sending the message validate that the message has been understood.

I've been trying very hard - but when the message is "We need to seperate because I am stressed when you are around", I validate that she feels stressed and I can understand the stress she is under but don't feel it's appropriate to move out - so I can't take the action my W would like me to take based on communication. So the perception is that I'm not listening.

When I ask if there are other ways I can help remove that stress the response is "I don't know how", I've done a 180 on all the things that caused stress in the past - bringing work home, not spending enough time with the family, not helping enough around the house - it kind of leaves me stumped.