Calidad It's painful but it's progress, trust me. You need time and space to become an integrated man. She needs time and space to think and to put on the big girl pants. Bottomline separations can be very good if done right. Just some observations.
1. It seems counter productive but don't let your W know about your changes once you separate. Yes seems counter productive, but reminding them that "you are changing". Is way more counter productive. She'll notice on her own whether it's through strength and cheerfulness in your voice, or by seeing you thinner and better dressed the FEW times you do interact with her.
2. Ok so she checked out, and is in a EA/PA. Still no permission to get your own OW. My BIL did and it doomed any chance at reconciliation.
3. Get ready to GAL like there's no tomorrow you'll need it. Especially because she will be running the WAW version of GAL. Expect lots of new friends in her life as she pushes away old friends that are "pro marriage" and finds new ones that support her choices. Going out to bars all night with recent divorcees is a common WAW GAL theme.
Bottomline this is her time to find out if the grass is truly greener on the other side, it's your time to add some more fertilizer, and if you want her back don't put up a fence.
