Originally Posted By: 25yearsmlc
So the child is born and our hormones drop dramatically fast.
But then -parents/wives are exhausted by the demands of 2+ small children, sleep deprivation-never to be underestimated.. so of course they want sleep and help! If they don't get it, a lot of resentment builds.
2 years later it seems to be better partly b/c the work load lessens, the h helps more, and their hormones are back on track, sleep has returned.

It's my understanding that for a good slice of women, libido does not come back automatically. Which is why the most common sexual complaint among women is low libido.
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He also ignored how much weight he gained ( a lot ) so he wasn't very appealing (and maybe not strong enough for certain positions?)

Well, that at least, has never been my problem. I've always been ideal weight. As I wrote previously, when trying on suits recently, wife even commented humorously that I could work as a male model for suits.
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For sure he was not a generous lover. Things he liked/requested done to him, were not reciprocated, and he seemed not to "get" that intercourse alone doesn't always satisfy a woman, although it's easier for HIM. Basically he felt if she didn't get an O from his 3 minutes of aimless foreplay, too bad for her.

OK, even with my lack of real experience, I roll my eyes at this description. I've offered to do almost anything imaginable with my wife in bed, but she is not interested.
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She was someone who let issues lke undone laundry or him being late 3 days earlier, "stop" her from feeling in the mood. She always had an obstacle course for him to navigate.

Boy does that sound familiar!
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it does not sound as if you are ready to give your w an ultimatum and I understand that.

I did many times, but didn't follow up on it. I mean, once you divorce, it's over anyway, so that's not solving the problem. Ultimatums are not a turn on, as she has said. Yeah, duh! It's like saying either you have sex with me, or else! Not exactly what I'd consider a good approach for someone dealing with SA, if that's her issue.