alcoholic H decided he wants D

[imthemom]

I will apologize ahead of time as I do not know all the "abbriviations"
my alcoholic H and I seperated 2 yrs ago. I took our son and moved out, I could not stand to be around him anymore and wanted a better situation for our son. I had no intention of getting a D but felt I had no other choice then to leave. H has now been sober for 18 months and attends AA regularly. We continued to spend time together for our son and I was hopeing for a reconciliation soon, as I thought that the other problems in our marriage would be able to be fixed once that alcohol was out of the picture. although he stated many times he did not want to lose his family, I never felt like he was willing to commit to us again. And I supose dureing this time I spent a lot of time "punishing" him. there were many heartfelt cards and text but never a face to face talk. He has now decided he wants a D with no discusion what so ever...he says when he looks at me he feels nothing, feels that if he is around me he will drink again and stated that he drank because of me. after 18 yrs of marriage and 2 yrs waiting for him to come around, is unbelievably painfull...I of course immidiantly proceeded to beg and plead,which is totally out of my nature, what ever I could think of to change his mind which of course didnt work. I have now completly backed off and there is no contact unless it has to do with our son and Im trying to limit that to emergencys....he has stated he is not interested at all in trying anything and wishes me well, I am heartbroken and dont know what to do..should I just go to get a lawyer??..it feels pretty hopeless now but I have some hope that he will rethink his position...he has not mentioned filing papers or lawyers at all.
any advice would be appreciated