@forward - My W can see into my life through the kids. While I never question the kids about their mom and what she is doing, my kids have remarked comments their mom has made. Even then, I don't respond to what they say by trying to get messages back to her. Considering she has her masters in counseling and she also went through the divorce parenting programs required by the state, she is doing the opposite of what is taught (and common sense) so as not to put the kids in the middle of this.
Something I am a little confused about is my mom reporting back to me what she perceives. It doesnt bother me. She is also a Christian and, something I am quite proud of, while she isn't happy with what has happened, she doesn't speak ill of her DIL. Why would I have an issue with what she says to me? This has been extremely hard on her.
My W may have changed but I am not worried about that. I've known her for 25+ years and have seen her change in various ways before this happened. I think that my focus is not on her but on my R with God. If she changes again (who doesn't) we will see where it takes her. Further away or closer. I have no idea.
On a side note, while you may think I am appearing wimpy to my W and therefore, less attractive, I am more concerned with a woman who respects a man that puts his family first. I am less attracted to a woman who is shallow and cannot think of someone who is more interested in living 1 Corinthians 13.
I have decided to "put away my sword" and forgive her, her lovers, her friend (and myself). I cannot change her or make her decide to come back to me. It is truly up to God to take care of this. I trust Him.
