"I've been unhappy for years" "I don't love you anymore" "I want to move on" "I need time and space to sort things out"
Truth is, they've been thinking about this for weeks, months, maybe even years...waiting for that one opportunity to execute the plan. With my W it was her reconnection with an old high school boyfriend on FB. Hundreds of secret phone calls, Skype sessions and text messages later, she dropped her bomb.
The incident with your W acting jumpy when you walked in on her phone call is, to me, a big red flag. I know you keep telling yourself there is no OM, but I'd stay vigilant.
Stay in your house, be as distant from her as you possibly can without looking like you're trying and devote everything you have to your kids. Do not try to reconcile, patch up or talk about your M for now. Your nerves are on edge, her nerves are on edge, and your kids will pick up on that (if they haven't already done so).
Get some kind of legal counsel but do not tell her you are doing that. If she does file for a D, when you receive the paperwork just tell her you will review it. Period.
Peter, I too was "living together but separated" for 5 months. During those 5 months I did everything wrong: tried to have R talks, snooped in her phone and e-mails, tried to guilt her into seeing the error of her ways...all it did was drive her out. Don't make the same mistakes I did.
H 56 W 48 D27,S21 SS25 SS22 Severely autistic M(#2 for both) 9 1/2 yrs. "I've never loved you" 3/7/2011 Separated 8/7/2011 BITS
