W is Pregnant!

[25yearsmlc]

accury brings up a vitally important piece of information for YOU to know.

The Reactions of h's at these times, is crucial to the r for a LONG time.

Our first child was about 5 years "premature" and it was certainly as much my h's "fault" as mine...(actually more so his, b/c the "failure" of birth control was at his end)

but within 5 minutes of MY knowing, (I took the tests alone at home),

I had accepted it with a terrified excitement/glee, but I was nervous about h's reaction. Timing?

We had been married awhile, but I was entering my final year of law school and job hunting, and h was about to enter medical school, so the timing was NOT fortuitous....we had no medical insurance, I had not landed a job yet, and h was about to lose his job to go back for arduous LONG years of schooling...

To h's credit, once he realized there was "evidence" of a child coming (as in, the 2 pregnancy kids with positive results I showed him)

he said "Then i guess it's time to hug b/c we're having a baby!"

and he got on board. I heard him later tell a friend, "I knew what I said right then would always be remembered."

He's right. It IS a watershed moment in life, and here are a few other examples:

"I'm pregnant, again", "I've been in an accident", "The biopsy isn't back and I'm worried", "The biopsy came back and the news isn't good" "I lost my job today" etc

You get the point...then and there

it's as if you are on a reality TV show ...

your words and actions will be forever remembered.

Forever treasured, or forever resented...

You have to step up to the plate, even if you are faking it.

And with pregnancy, whatever doubts & fears YOU think you have, the wife has exponentially more of them.

She will hide the negatibe emotions better b/c wives are not really allowed to feel anything but JOY at the news of a baby coming...no matter what # baby or the timing or her plans...

The idea that it's ALWAYS great for us b/c we ALWAYS feel great about life within us, denies the realities of whatever else is happening in our lives.

It's also not fair or accurate.

We can be even more terrified of being left by WAH, or being sick a lot

or losing the baby (and seeing it as punishment for not being 100% thrilled)

OR us dying (hey, My aunt died in childbirth and so did my grandmother. It's still a leading cause of death in other parts of the world).

And it takes a lot out of us anyhow.

Physically, you gotta admit it's a bit tougher on the girl's end than the male's...

so be kind to her, And to the child within,

for they are coming anyhow, and they "feel" how well your w sleeps and eats and is fit,


= it all matters a lot.

Again, Good luck!

((( )))