I think it's wonderful that you're noticing what's still lacking in your life and sense of self. Now is the time, while your H is off finding his way, to become that attractive, exciting woman you glimpse sometimes.
I'm sure you're familiar with the "Change Sandwich," the model that we move from Unconscious Incompetence (not knowing what mistakes we're making) to Conscious Incompetence (seeing the mistakes but not knowing how to make changes), to Conscious Competence (being very aware of acting in new and sometimes uncomfortable ways) to Unconscious Competence (naturally behaving in the new manners).
You've made it to step 3 already--and the better you feel about the changes you have made/are making/want to make, the easier the process will become.
What could you do to feel more attractive to yourself right now? How could you awaken your more passionate and exciting side WITHOUT slipping back on your newfound skills of patience, compassion and restraint?
