I will share a little more. When my W was so angry at me that we didn't have sex, she felt bad and was ashamed. She felt like a failure in that aspect of marriage and intimacy/sex just reminded her of her failure in this are.

The point is that Mrs. Captain and Mrs. ssmguy may (or may not) also feel bad about the current situation, but feel as trapped by circumstances as their husbands.

Finding a way out of an SSM can not only be a give for oneself, but also for the one that you love.

>43 years of marriage--My wife and I are now closer than we have been in decades. I believe that my SSM is over.