The interesting thing about Tea's version of events is that, 20(?) years ago his wife refused sex during a short period of time with the words quoted above--and it is Tea who decided that she feels that way every day since. His W may well tell her confidants that it was Tea who created the SSM, because it's just as valid to see it that way.
Tea based his stubborn decision on a previous agreement not to keep harping on friction topics. Tea, researchers have discovered that the key friction topics in every marriage never get resolved. However, in successful marriages, both partners learn ways to accept and negotiate past different ways of being.
To reach this level, communication is the key. It was unworkable to decide decades ago that those sticking points in your M which would lead to its being a success once resolved, would instead be filed away in silence to cause resentment and blocks to further intimacy.
What could you possibly lose by admitting that, like every other human on earth, you didn't know how to successfully negotiate a satisfactory M when you were younger? Why stick to a flawed and self-destructive agreement? It never has, and still isn't, working for you.
