I had a feeling yesterday was going to be a bad day. It seems like anytime we have a good day, the next is horrible.
He text me on both of his breaks to see how things were going on the apartment hunting. I told him both times that I am working on it, but with me not having a job there aren't many options out there.
He came home from work and was on his computer as soon as he hit the door. It was his night to take care of the kids, but that didn't seem to matter to him. I went to bed around 8:30 because I am just so emotionally drained right now. Usually no matter what I wait for him to go to bed. I woke up at 11 and he was still on his computer. He finally came to bed, but I have no idea what time.
I got up this morning and fixed coffee and breakfast. He was silent for a long time, but then slowly started talking to me about little things. He left for work without even a goodbye or anything.
I text him and asked him to call me on his break. He called and I told him I just am not having any luck with finding a place that I can afford by Friday. He told me I can stay for another 2 weeks. I told him that I would move into the spare bedroom for that time period. He got upset and said he didn't know why I had to do that. I told him that he said I was making him miserable by being here so the less he saw of me the better for him. He asked me to please not do that.
He then asked me if I was starting to get depressed again. (Ya think?) I told him with everything going on that yes I may be, but the counseling has helped me a lot. He said maybe I need to look at getting on meds for it. Maybe he needs to take his own advise, but I didn't say that.
If he wants me gone so bad, why is he insisting on me sleeping in his bed? It's not like we are ML every night. Most nights he does everything he can to not touch me. I just don't understand it. If I make him so miserable and he ignores, why want me around? Is he doing this to just hurt me? He knows it does!
Sometimes I wonder if I just need to get ticked off at him and just let him have it! I have always let him have complete control over everything. Last night I just wanted to shut the screen on this laptop and yell pay attention to me! I did ask him one time if he was busy because I was going to ask him to help me with something and he said yes coldly.
I want to save this marriage so badly, but I'm afraid I am running out of time. The divorce is suppose to be final in November. I don't know if he is still having an EA with the scam artist, but I think he has started another one with someone else. I am trying so hard not to snoop because I know it will only hurt me. I do know that he has several different profiles on singles sites. And when he told me I had to leave he said that he couldn't have anyone over if he wanted to. He then quickly said that he wasn't saying he had anyone in mind, but if the opportunity came up, he couldn't.
